T1+Writing

__Tuesday 5th April__

__WALT - write an argument using persuasive language features to convince people to visit the Bay of Plenty.__

Success Criteria My writing contains an introduction, 3 key arguments and a conclusion I will state and restate my opinion I use a range of language resources and punctuation My paragraphs follow the S E E structure

“Have you only seen little trees in your home town”? Then come to the Redwoods to experience some of the worlds magician tracks you also could get your fitness up to 100 percent by running, walking, biking and even horse riding.

Do just run on a treadmill? Yes that what I though “that would be getting really boring for me”. So why not come to the Redwoods because I personally think that would give you a better environment to train because you will wasting all that power just running in non fresh air well then that will not be helping your body that much more but if you run in the Redwoods you will have that fresh air just to help your body just that little bit more and that comes with biking and walking as well.

Have you just walked a track that just goes around and around is circles? Because everybody knows that’s really boring you just get sick of it.Well the Redwoods has walks for 30 mins and tramps for 8 hours this very good for your health you can just suck in that nice bitter air.

Are you experience with your mountain biking and you come from over seas and there is now where to do mount biking at your home town? Come and bike some of the world magnificent biking tracks in New Zealand there are tracks for Beginners, Intermediate and Experienced these track can be biked on wet and cold days is well you don’t have to go on a very hot summers day because you will roast in the Redwoods.

I believe that there are more things to do in the Bay of Plenty but I still strongly believe that the Redwoods is one of the best places to get your fitness up instead of running on a treadmill wasting power when you could just come to the Redwoods.

Well done on using paragraphs in your writing Josh. Just remember you must state your 3 main ideas in your introduction and then restate them in your conclusion, you haven't done this! Nice use of rhetorical questions and excellent use of personal pronouns. You now need to focus on using stronger imperatives to really convince me to visit. I can tell that you are passionate about the redwoods, which really helps to sell it. You are making excellent progress with your writing Josh, well done. Miss Crone :)